How to be a Winning Sports Parent (Without Driving your Kid Nuts)

Last year I worked with an athlete who was frustrated by his dad's daily post-practice phone calls. "How was practice? What did you run today? Think you'll play in the next game?" His exasperation was palpable. And of course, as soon as he said it, I had to laugh because, well, guilty as charged. I was asking my own son some of those exact questions after most practices.

That moment of self-awareness led to a great conversation. Did he feel like his dad's love was tied to his perfromance? Had he ever told his dad how he felt? We also considered his dad's possible motivations-was he just trying to connect with his son, or was this a case of trying to relive his glory days through his kid's athletic achievements? Understanding both perspectives helped us craft a strategy for an open, honest conversation.

So what does science say about how parents can best support their young athletes?

When Your Child has a Great Game:

1. Focus on Effort: Instead of "you were amazing out there!" try, "I loved how hard you worked and stayed focused today." This emphasizes what they can control.

2. Ask Open Questions: Instead of breaking out the highlight reel, ask, "What was your favorite part of the game?

When your Child Has a Tough Game:

1. Be Their Safe Zone: Avoid analysis or advice unless they ask. Sometimes, "I'm proud of you no matter what" is all they need.

2. Give Them Space: If they're not ready to talk, respect that. A quiet drive home can be golden.

Parenting an athlete is a balancing act, but a little curiosity and unconditional support can go a long way. And hey, maybe skip the daily inquisition - you can still care without turning into Coach Dad (or Mom)!